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Thursday, July 13th, 2006
10:32 am - new stuff
i also found out that alex never even graduated high school. everythign was a fuckin lie! damn it!

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Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
11:51 pm - damn it!
fuck god damn it shit.

so i kicked alex out...first he punched a hole in the wall so i told him he has to see what my mom says. then i found out that he never NEVER was in college! so i told him to get out. he lied about everything. we even drove him every week to 'school' so he can make a better life for allie and himself! so after finding out that HUGE lie i desided (after calming down for a day) to call his sister and ask her a few question...so it turns out he never even graduated high school. never have knee surgry and lied aout so much more. he lied about everything. i feel soo stupid. how was i to know he was lieing. damn it. i gave him everything. a place to live. a chance to make his life better. and he spit in my face. what a peice of shit. im done being his mother and dragging him through live. i hate that allie will have to grow up and know this about her father...if he is even around still. but it is done. and all i cant do is make sure i give her a good life and do my best to be the best for her.
but realy i need a hug

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Monday, June 5th, 2006
10:53 pm - ebay
i have a star trek ORIGINAL mr scott in the box up and an salah infiana jones in box
both in good condition!
message me if your interented!!!!!!

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1:03 am - 8 more days!
and im off to texas for about 2 weeks.
to see daddy and jer!
hehe fun with babies on plains!

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12:58 am - goodbye high school!
as of about 4pm on june 4 2006 i was DONE with all my school work.
ill will get my dipoma soon!
i start college in augest ( hopefully)

im gonna be a kindergarden teacher!

fuck your stereotyping of me
haha and i will be graduating at 17 with a 4.0 and a baby.
beat that kids!
im so happy!

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Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006
8:58 pm - e-harmony what i need
Ashley's Compatibility Profile Summary
No person can be fully described or defined by a few short sentences. However, here are several of the most important characteristics revealed by your eHarmony Compatibility Profile that you should keep in mind as you search for your ideal mate:
Some of your ideal mate's strongest personality characteristics are:
He likes it when he can do something the right way the first time.

When necessary, he can take charge and organize others.

He sometimes likes to get out and try new things.

He sometimes likes to do things on the spur of the moment, without a lot of advance planning.
Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:
He is always a generous and supportive friend.

He almost always manages to be open-minded and flexible.

He sometimes enjoys sharing a great joke or humorous movie with friends.

He generally avoids being pessimistic about things.
Important goals and values for your ideal mate in a relationship are:
Sharing in family activities and outings is one of his joys in life.

He has a strong vision of the life and family he is ready to build.

He is strongly focused on creating a loving and stable home for his children.

He believes in spending some of his time working to make the world a better place.
Vitality and Security: You don't have any particular need for a man who is driven by a desire for long-term stability. Your ideal match appreciates the fact that you aren't looking for a partner who will expect you to place their needs above your own, and can be relied upon to do an equally good job of taking care of himself.

Autonomy: You will be best matched with someone who is self-reliant and independent. He enjoys spending time with friends and loved ones but doesn't need to spend a lot of time with people to feel close to them. He will be able to respect the fact that you don't want a partner who's an unshakable fixture at your side. He may not call every day, but it's not because he doesn't care. He just doesn't think it's vital to spend time on the phone unless there is something he needs or wants to discuss. He can appreciate time spent apart and likes having separate interests. Friends and family think of him as the kind of person who isn't afraid to follow his own lead.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Character: Your ideal mate is probably a bit of a loner. He is probably focused on his own life, and doesn't let other people's misfortunes get him down. Friends might describe him as someone who has bigger things on his mind than helping the homeless person or donating to charity. He will appreciate that you are your own person and don't expect him to solve your problems. Your relationship will be based more on mutual respect than a need for emotional support.

Kindness: Your best match is more likely to be the strong than sweet. He prizes his independence, and doesn't need you to monitor his every step. He might overlook small courtesies, like asking about your day, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. In return, he is likely to understand if you do things like forget an anniversary or show up late for a date.

Communication: You are best suited to someone who can appreciate the difficulty you sometimes experience in opening up and expressing your inner thoughts and feelings. You will do poorly with someone who expects instant intimacy. Your ideal mate won't feel the need to tell you every detail about himself, and he won't expect you to tell him everything about yourself on the first date. He will appreciate that it takes time for you to open up, and will be a supportive and understanding audience when you do.

Conflict Resolution: You'll be happiest with a man who generally does his best to avoid conflict. When he does have a disagreement, he usually tries to keep the peace instead of trying to win the fight. However, your best match needs to have a strong backbone in order to gain and keep your respect. He won't be willing to go along with an idea if he thinks it is truly bad. If you push him too far, he will stand up for his beliefs, even if it means turning a minor disagreement into a major battle.
Humor: Your ideal mate has the ability to see the lighter side in most situations. He is generally able to find something funny in everyday sights, like uptight waiters or rebellious teenagers. He likes to be entertained with humor, such as pithy observations about passersby, jokes or even unintended puns. He's the kind of person who enjoys being around funny people, either because they ignite his own ability to make people laugh, or just because they keep him smiling about life. His friends see him as someone who has a good sense of humor but who also has a serious side when dealing with important issues.

Sociability: You'll be happiest with a man who strikes a balance between enjoying time spent alone and time spent with others. He generally enjoys having friends or family over for dinners, holiday gatherings or special events, but doesn't want a crowd of people in his house on a regular basis. He doesn't feel a burning need to go out to parties every weekend or check up on friends every day. He enjoys spending time with others, but isn't afraid to be alone.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Adaptability: Your ideal mate likes to sometimes find new ways to deal with old challenges. He can think up creative solutions to a problem but doesn't discount the tried-and-true answers. His friends describe him as someone who generally has a fresh take on any given situation but who isn't driven to recreate the wheel every time he's faced with a task or challenge. You are likely to find it frustrating to deal with someone who can never seem to do something the same way twice, but you also chafe at people who can't accept new approaches to problems when the old solutions have stopped working.

Emotional Energy: You'll be happiest in the long run with a man who's generally outgoing and vivacious but who appreciates a regular dose of quiet and relaxation to keep him at his best. His friends might describe him as someone who'd rather do something right away rather than put it off for later, whether it's a chore at home or a complex task at the office. At the same time, he likes to carve out time for himself and his own interests. He appreciates having stability, but if he feels life is getting too routine he isn't afraid to venture out and rectify the situation. If he falls into too much of a routine, he's likely to worry that life is passing him by and take steps to rectify the situation.

Romantic Passion: Your ideal mate is a man who likes to focus on the things that he thinks are really important in a relationship, such as having the same values or achieving shared goals. He will enjoy spending quality time together, but "overly romantic" is probably not a good description for him. Friends might describe him as the kind of person who thinks anniversaries and Valentine's Day are somewhat silly. He probably appreciate a partner who suggested he save the money he would have spent on romantic trinkets for something more useful.

Dominance: You are best suited to someone who respects your competitive nature and shares some of the same thirst for victory. He generally goes out of his way to make sure he wins, whether it's playing a pick-up game of basketball or negotiating a business deal. His friends think of him as aggressive and passionate about what he believes in and know that he doesn't back down easily. The two of you might butt heads when it comes to making decisions or resolving disagreements, but each of you will strongly understand and support the underlying competitiveness that drives the other.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Artistic Passion: You are best suited in many ways to the kind of man who has the soul of an artist. He likely seeks out creative outlets, like writing, painting or singing. He's expressive, imaginative and inventive and probably has a distinct sense of style. He is the sort of person who infuses creativity into his surroundings by doing things like adding a few distinctive pieces of art to his home instead of cookie-cutter furniture. His interest in the arts is rooted in a unique outlook on life and his desire to express it to the world.

Curiosity: You will be best matched with a man who is eager to find out more about things that interest him. He likes to learn about the world by trying new things, like exotic foods, a far-flung vacation destination or conversations with people from other cultures. Friends describe him as someone who is well-rounded and well-versed in subjects that intrigue him, but he doesn't feel the need to know everything. He'll appreciate your desire to balance "old favorites" with new adventures.

Intellect: Your ideal mate is someone who shares your belief that there's more to life than book smarts. He prefers to focus on everyday events, like sports scores and the top stories in the daily news, rather than things that don't pertain to his life, such as philosophy or ancient history. He is someone with a lot of "street smarts," but not necessarily a lot of formal education.
Sexual Passion: Your ideal partner generally shares your belief that sex isn't the most important part of a relationship. He isn't fixated on physical beauty, sex appeal or physical chemistry. He cares more about things like mutual interests, character and a sense of humor. He doesn't need to feel an all-consuming passion for his partner to consider the relationship fulfilling.

Physical Energy: You are best suited to someone who likes to strike a balance between playing sports or exercising and more passive activities, like books or movies. He likes to stay in shape, but it isn't always at the top of his list of things to do. Friends and family might describe him as the kind who signs up for a gym membership but then has to remind himself to actually go. He's generally energetic and active, but if a day goes by without a workout - or maybe even a week - he's generally not going to complain.

Appearance: You need a man who can appreciate everything you bring to the table. He'll be interested in everything about you, like your personality, intelligence and humor. He won't judge you on shallow measurements, such as your weight: Your hairstyle or how stylishly you dress. Like you, he doesn't spend hours obsessing over how he looks. His friends and family know he is looking for someone he can care for deeply in order to be happy, and not just someone who will look good on his arm..
Organization: You need someone who can appreciate that you can only stand a certain amount of clutter in your home. You won't mind if he has a problem picking up after himself every now and then, but starting a relationship with someone who can't seem to ever put anything away, or who never knows where they left anything, should set off alarm bells in your head. While you might be able to overlook sloppy habits, all other things being equal, you would be best matched with someone who shares the value you place on tidiness and organization.

Ambition: You will be happiest with a man who wants to be successful but won't let it compromise all aspects of his life. He sets personal goals and wants to live up to his potential and advance his career. He generally does not judge himself by what others think, but he might sometimes measure his success by things like having the right car or a prestigious job. He generally considers things like family, friends and time to himself more important than achievements.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Industry: You are most compatible with someone who works hard at the office or jobsite, but avoids bringing too much stress and worry home. He likes to stay busy, but doesn't feel the need to fill every moment of every day with some task or chore. He's generally efficient, persistent and productive, but doesn't obsess over making lists of things to do or accomplish. He will appreciate your work ethic and your ability to enjoy the relaxation of down-time as well.

Education: Your ideal mate isn't concerned with academic degrees. He won't care if he and his partner don't talk together about things like politics, religion, art or history. Others see him as someone who isn't concerned with such philosophical discussions. He's looking for compatibility in more important aspects of a relationship, like character, honesty, communication and romance. He shares your belief that formal education isn't necessary for success.
Self Concept: Your ideal match is someone who is self-assured and well-adjusted. When necessary, he can accept constructive criticism and doesn't feel the need to "kill the messenger." Because he is confident of his own worth, he rarely gets overly defensive. Other people see him as someone who knows his strengths but who doesn't turn a blind eye to his weaknesses.

Emotional Status: You are best suited to a man who sees the bright side of things more often than not. Like most people, he probably worries when faced with things like financial challenges or professional setbacks, but he is generally confident that he will be able to handle any problem. Friends say he's self-assured and hopeful, the kind of person who generally hopes for the best, while occasionally planning for the worst. Like you, he generally believes that the future holds the promise of success and happiness. His moods may vary with life's ups and downs, but extended bouts of depression or dissatisfaction are rare.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Obstreperousness: Your ideal mate is someone who isn't afraid to voice his opinion and appreciates the fact that you do the same. He won't be surprised if you disagree with him or argue your position. His friends would probably describe him as the type of person who's more concerned with being right than just having everyone like him. Like you, he may get irritated easily when others disagree with his perspective. However, the two of you will be able to appreciate each others commitment to being honest rather than "politically correct," and shared emphasis on substance over style.

Anger Management: Your ideal mate is someone who can appreciate your assertive personality. He doesn't mind a few "rough edges," and can handle your occasional outbursts. Friends may find your relationship turbulent, but your disagreements should blow over quickly as long as you both maintain a level of mutual respect.

Mood Management: You will be most satisfied with a man who will be able to understand if you sometimes take your grouchiness out on him. Friends and family may know him as someone who has gone through more than his own share of low times himself. He'll understand and be supportive if sometimes your mood seems all-consuming and that you need someone to just sit with you and listen.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Family Goals: Your ideal mate is someone who is looking for a woman who shares similar ideas about parenting. He likes kids and probably has clear ideas about raising them. He feels that a couple will be much better parents if they are like-minded in their approach to things like discipline and communication with children. They will also experience more harmony and unity as parents - something he values.

Family Background: Your ideal mate is someone who had a good childhood. Like most people's, his family had some problems, but it was healthy overall. For the most part, his family was supportive, friendly and nurturing. His expectations of relationship are realistic, and he will understand if you don't always get along with your family, or his.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Spirituality: Your ideal mate isn't the kind of person who gets involved with a faith community. Others see him as someone who generally only attends religious services for weddings and funerals, and even then he's uncomfortable with organized religion. He isn't interested in seeking out a partner who will insist on regular involvement in a religious community.

Traditionalism: You'll be happiest with a man who considers things like traditional family values, strict moral guidelines and church attendance as antiquated - and maybe even a little dangerous. White picket fences and Sunday school picnics may have been the norm in the 1950s, but your ideal mate is probably not so conservative. He's generally committed to personal freedom and self-expression.

Altruism: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who cares about helping strangers but who might not spend a lot of his time doing so. He is someone who generally takes care of his friends when they're in need and who might feel a pang of guilt when he doesn't reach out to assist strangers. Others see him as someone who, with a little encouragement, will join efforts to help, whether it's a canned food drive or a charity fundraiser.

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8:57 pm - e- harmony personality profile
By analyzing your answers to the Relationship Questionnaire we have created the following Personality Profile. Everyone has a set of subconscious wants and desires that drive their choices and attitudes. By asking you questions about a wide range of emotional issues, this report has established general patterns in your values.
Some of the following information may seem inaccurate or incomplete. Remember, that this profile is a snapshot of your personality at a specific moment. It is not intended as an in-depth analysis of your complete being, but as a tool to aid in self-discovery.
• In social situations, you prefer variety, adventure and the unusual. You may lose interest if you feel a situation is becoming routine. As a result, you must be kept busy and involved with making things happen.

• You respect those who win out against the odds and show persistence. You set high goals for yourself and others.

• You have a natural enthusiasm for the activities you prefer. Because of your enthusiasm, you may forget that others have different wants and needs.

• You love challenges and competition. Those who know you may consider you to be a high risk-taker.

• You will take issue and not shy away from confrontation when others disagree with how you feel or think.

• You love challenges and competition. At the same time, you must realize and appreciate that others may not share your zest for challenges and competition.

Each person has a unique way of communicating. We use a combination of body language, facial expression, verbal tone and word choice to share ourselves with others. The following statements offer a look at the natural behavior you bring to an interpersonal relationship.
• Having a variety of results at stake brings out the best in you. Your great strength is in directing yourself and others toward specific activities results.

• Not having a climate of challenges and competition may cause you to create such a climate. You perform best under pressure, and may assume that others want the same...your assumption is not always true.

Many different factors determine the communication styles with which you are most comfortable. Some individuals thrive on the challenge of pointed criticism, while others are at their best in a nurturing environment where criticism is offered as a suggestion for improvement. Each of us has a unique set of requirements and preferences. Below is a list of communication styles that will mesh well with your own. Having a partner who understands and practices these traits is important to your long-term happiness.
• Plan interactions which support dreams and goals.

• Be on time.

• Omit the details and get to the "bottom line."

• Provide questions and choices for making decisions.

• Share specific ideas to carry out an action.

• Be prepared to listen to many stories.

• Be stimulating, fun-loving, and fast-moving.

• Talk about expectations.

• Support results, not the person, if you agree.

• Take issue with the facts, not the person, if you disagree.

Following are some of the specific strengths and/or personal characteristics that you bring to a relationship. These may form the foundations of many of your friendships and dealings with other people. Some will seem obvious, but you may be surprised by others. Take a moment to reflect on each and consider what role it may have played in your past successes, and even failures.
• You tend to be influential in decision-making situations. Others often turn to you for advice.

• You tend to be tenacious about solving problems, not liking to give up until something is resolved.

• You are usually enthusiastic about activities and planning.

• You have an excellent sense of humor and tend to see humor in events spontaneously.

• You are skilled at finding "win-win" solutions when conflicts arise.

• You tend to enjoy life and share that enjoyment with others.

• You are very good at communicating with others and seeing their point of view.

• You are socially poised and people-oriented.

• You are good at motivating others toward positive goals.

• You meet new people easily and are good at making them feel welcome.
In general, human beings are defined by their needs and individuals by their wants. Your emotional wants are especially important when establishing with whom you are compatible. While answering the Relationship Questionnaire you established a pattern of basic, subconscious wants. This section of the report was produced by analyzing those patterns. Our wants change as we mature and obtain our life goals. You may find it valuable to revisit this section periodically to see how your wants have changed.
You may want:
• Time away occasionally--you value your privacy.

• New challenges and problems to solve.

• Opportunity for personal involvement.

• Respect among peers and friends for your quiet manner.

• Rewards for your ideas, and results for your actions.

• Others to present their ideas and information in a logical order.

• Straight talk and straight dealing.

• To be seen as a leader.

• Freedom to act independently from time to time.

• Facts and data before making decisions relating to others

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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
10:49 pm - blah
i went to my grandparents house today.
i was up at one in the morning last night makin my grandma a sugar free cake cause she is diabetic (she jsut found out)i wasnt happy with how it turned out but she liked it...thats all that matters i suppose. she gave me a neckless with my birthstone in it. im so her favorate granddaughter...my cusions fucking piss me off...my grandparents are such awesome people...so loving and supportive and they dont even have the time of day to visit them. its a chore for then to even get overther and they live near eachother. they only call when they need something. gah! i hate that. i would NEVER use even one like that. i go there ever week. not cause i have to or jsut to make them happy. i go cuase i love spending time with them. gah i cant stand that people use others. it makes me sick!

the end of this rant

...i love my family...

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Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
8:04 pm - im sorry!
well im sorry i havnt been on in "forever and a day". ive been busy trying to get everything done here...alie sleeps 2 hours a day so i gotta do all my homework and house work in that tiem or ill be up all night.

my mom is waiting 6 months to move...but we WILL be moving to ontario. when the time comes.

alie will be 5 months on the 22nd...its insane now but she is!! haha im still nursing so thats cool i guess...she is sooooo funny! i love the mommy scene.

well i gotta go. andrea is spending the night...we are gonna hang out and watch big love annnnnnnd RHPS! yay! i hope my DVD player works.

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Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
2:29 am
well we got the house! now lets just see if mom keeps it this time...gah...

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Friday, February 17th, 2006
11:21 pm - humm
well...nothing new has really happened...ale is getting big and lets me sleep, ummm ive been getting really bored...i need to get out more. im making jeremy a irish flag blanket and alex a dark green one...it keeps me busy...

i have now seen every episode or star trek next generation... "make it so number one"

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Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
11:14 pm - i love this quote
"Im not in love I just have heartburn"-my good friend dave

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Monday, January 30th, 2006
12:29 pm - one hard birth
well...i was one week over my due date so they had to induce...first...i went in monday morning and they started putting a gel on my cervixs ever 6 hours to thin it out...it hurt sooo bad...i had to sit there for 14 hours before even going into labor...my cervixs was "tilted" so it was hard to get the gel stuff to work. then they pumped me full of plutosin a hormone give make me go into labor. that stuff makes labor soo much harder. i was in labor for 16 hours beofre i had my baby girl. i was on all the drugs so i dont remember much of the labor. i didnt take the classes so i didnt push good enough so they had to use the vacuum and i had to get my vag cut. my daughter was a perfect baby! soo healthy.

now here is where it gets rough!!

after i had her, hey were pulling out the after birth and when the dr when to get the placentia out, my uterus had overgrown and attached to it. my whole uturis came out with the plusenta. the surgen can running in (by this time the drugs were all worn off) the surgen started trying to punch my uterus back into m crotch...his armwas in my body up to his elbow...i was screaming sooo hard. it hurt so back...ive never felt anything hurt soo bad. the dr that give the drugs was in there soon after so i dont remember going into surgry but i did. they give me a C section-like surgery to put the uterus back.
during the surgry, i thought i was dead or that i had dreamt the hole pregnancy...(drugs do that to ya) but anywyas. the surgry worked...im alright now...and i can still have kids.
healing form that was horrable...i was healing from giving birth, major surgery, and breast feeding all at the same time.
i had lost so much blood too. i had 2 blood transfusions the next day. i was in the hospital 5 days in all...and couldnt walk for the next 4days after that.
by x-mass i was doing good and healthy...but then i swole up soo bad...i looked like i was 6 months pregnant again. and had a fever. so x-maas day i went to the ER and found out i got an infection from the surgry...a uturen infection and a UTI...
but im doing good now... and would to its 1000 times over for my baby girl. it was sooo worth it.

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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
1:30 am - 2 months old
well ale is 2 months old now...she is so adorable and calm...i love her soo much its insane! everyone said it wont be hard where babies are new borns...but its not hard at all. i enjoy it far to much for it to be hard.

we took her to the dr today to get her shots...it was so sad seeing her in pain...but she did good and didnt cry too much. she had to get 5 shots so i have to give her baby pain relief meds every 4 hours (dr orders). she is pretty out of it. she has been sleeping all day so we'll see how she does tonight. i hope she feels better soon. my poooor baby

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1:22 am - You have for to be joking mom!!
grr...ok so mom's offer was exicted and everything on the house in ontario...and now she doesnt want it...so we arent moving there after all...this is the second time she has done this...make up your damn mind. on the up side...alex can keep his job longer and become a server so he will be getting tips...yay!!

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Thursday, January 19th, 2006
11:24 pm - yay!!
andrea came over today!!! i was sooo happy. i missed her soo much. she is coming over tomarrow to cut my hair! yay for "scene" hair!!!! yay...i loves andrea!!

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Thursday, January 12th, 2006
10:32 pm - im moving
yup! im moving to ontario. next month...i really like the housebut imgonna miss all my friends out here...oh wait...ya'll never come see me...so nevermind...to thoughs of you who do care...once i settle in you can call me up and stay the weekend or something...

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Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
10:18 pm - my first LJ entry
well im a cool kid now..i gots me a LJ...word bitch

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